The Next Available Operator Will Be With You When She Damn Well Feels Like It

Look'll see me in the herd somewhere.

“Due to heavy call volume, the next available operator will be with you momentarily.”

You’ve no doubt heard this yourself…many times.

I have a growing appreciation for the complexity – and cost – of running a call center, as I have a client that serves that business, and I have interviewed several executives who run companies that service that sector.

But still…

That line just says to me “we could give a flying [BEEEP] about you.”

What about you? Tell me honestly in the comments. How do you interpret that statement when you hear it?

Do you have heavy call volume because your products stinks? Do you have heavy call volume because you are too cheap to invest in the appropriate amount of customer service teams?

What this says to me is that you don’t care enough about the customer. That their experience, their interaction with your company really isn’t that important to you. Slapping up that recording is you just dialing it in…

Look…perhaps you cannot afford to hire an extra team of personnel to man the phones. Perhaps you are smart enough not to invest in those awful automated processes where I have to “hit one for this, hit two for that…”

But maybe you do this: Maybe while people have to wait for technical assitance, you drive them to a special landing page on the website where you present a series of EASY-TO-UNDERSTAND videos with friendly people walking you through solutions to common problems. Make these videos easy to watch, easy to understand, viewable on mobile devices like smartphones and tablets…

[Oh! Make the domain easy to remember, since I will be jotting it down whilst on hold with you!]

But do something more than what EVERYONE else does. Do something that demonstrates you care. That I am not just another pain-in-the-ass-caller waiting in a long line…

“The next available customer may go the other direction. Thank you. Have a nice day.”


[go here to join my list of other intrepid marketers]

[pic from flickr]

  • Beth Bridges

    Those messages are so stiff. It would be more engaging and take that annoyed edge off if they said things like “Sorry this is taking so long, it seems like everyone in the world needed us right now!”

  • Todd Schnick

    yes, beth. no doubt. at least leave a message on there that frickin’ sounds human… agree wholeheartedly…