Had a cool guest on the radio show the other day. Her name was Monique Honaman. She is an author and a successful business consultant.
She made a key point, on the show, that people WANT to help. All you have to do is ask them. And most folks, as is their nature, will step up and do what needs to be done…
Problem is? Most of us don’t ever ask for help… Why?
1. Are we afraid of being turned down?
2. Does it seems selfish to ask for help?
3. Does it make us appear weak, and not up to snuff?
4. Maybe we are selfish, and secretly don’t want to be asked for help in return?
I don’t know. But the point is, we go through life building a network of people. Cultivating relationships with people who matter to us. Investing time building community with our social networks on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn.
Why do we do this? And what is the point of doing all that building if you are NOT going to enlist them for help? [unless you are doing it just to have fake, inflated counts of followers to show off...in which case you are fooling yourself...]
I recently launched a new project. I asked 40 of my closest friends to help me write an e-book with the soul purpose of providing some edgy, helpful, practical advice to young people just starting out in their life and career… The response was overwhelming. [you can find the details of the book here]
At first, I wasn’t sure people would be interested. I worried they wouldn’t have the time. But in the end, I learned two key points: One, these are my friends, and they were willing to help me. And two, they were (perhaps more so) willing to offer a hand to help others (in this case, the young folks the book is written for).
As a young fellow, I used to shy away from asking for help. I am in the camp that used to worry that asking for help made me appear weak. Funny thing what a little age does for you, because I now know that asking for help makes me appear stronger!
Still unsure of this? Not sure how and when to ask for help. Here are just a few ideas…
1. Ask for ideas on what to blog about.
2. Ask for suggestions on what books to read.
3. Invite someone to lunch, and ask for their opinion. On anything that matters.
4. Call someone you haven’t spoken to in a while. Ask for their perspective on things.
5. Do some Jerry Maguire. Ask friends to “help me help you.”
6. Ask colleagues about some good events/conferences/learning opportunities to attend.
7. Got writer’s block? Invite a friend to coffee, and talk it through.
8. Brimming with new business ideas, but sure how to proceed. Take an associate/mentor to dinner, and get their take on it. You will quickly learn what ideas have merit.
9. Stuck on a problem at work? We all are…every day. Collaborate. Crowdsource. It changes everything.
10. Asking people for help naturally opens up opportunities for you to help in return. In whatever way. And this process, of communicating with each other, and helping each other, is what makes the world go round…
At the end of the day, you will feel good about connecting with another human being. You will make them feel good about being able to help you. You will expand your learning, in some way, shape, or form. [You'll help them learn too...] You will become a better person, and this makes you a stronger presence in your marketplace.
So, ask not what you can do for yourself, ask what your friends can do to make the world around us a better place…for everyone concerned.
What do you think?
[image from h.koppdelaney on flickr]
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