11 Better Questions To Ask Than “What Do You Do?”

by Todd Schnick on January 26, 2012

I think one of the problems is that we all attempt to, or allow ourselves to be, defined by our work. We think we have to stay in miserable, unhappy jobs just because it is a status thing, or that we think this is what society expects.

I say bunk. No doubt, it is a lot harder (for me at least) to run my own business and have to eat what I kill. Sure, bills would be easier to pay with a regular paycheck, but I hated life like that. I love being on my own, responsible to myself, and flexible to do work that matters to me. It is a tough slog, but I love the battle.

But I think we are responsible for this predicament. What is the first thing we usually ask someone we meet for the first time?

“So…what do you do?”

Does asking this question subconsciously tell people that we expect an answer to be some formal, society-approved job? Maybe so.

So, here is what I propose. Instead of leading off with the standard “what do you do?” question, from now on, let’s start with these:

What do you love to do?

What are you reading?

What do you want to learn?

Tell me about your family?

What do you want to be known for?

What big, hairy challenge are you striving to achieve?

If you wrote the great American novel, what would it be about?

Would you rather be a writer, artist, or musician?

Where would you go if you could travel anywhere?

What would you do if you were president for a day?

What’s the biggest mistake you’ve ever made?

I don’t know about you, but I personally find the answers to these questions to be a lot more meaningful, and a lot more telling about a person than how they spend nine to five.

What do you think? What other questions would you want to ask?

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[join my merry band of intrepid raiders here]

[drawing by hugh macleod]

  • http://twitter.com/Write4Results Rachel A. Franco

    Another great post, Todd. It’s so true about the “What do you do?” question being the first (or one of the first) questions we ask people. I think you’re right when you say that it’s because our society defines (and perhaps judges) people by what they do professionally. It’s probably one of the more shallow aspects of our culture. I remember my aunt talking about how she hates this question. She said that she usually asks people instead something like, “how do you like spending your time?”

  • Anonymous

    I’ll be known as the man who loved and lead his family, challenged his industry to deliver more than expected and gave his team opportunities to be great. Thanks for the questions, I like ‘em.

  • Anonymous

    I’ll be known as the man who loved and lead his family, challenged his industry to deliver more than expected and gave his team opportunities to be great. Thanks for the questions, I like ‘em.

  • Todd Schnick

    good things to be known as!!

  • Todd Schnick

    thanks rachel. and yeah, the “how do you like spending your time?” should be added to the list!

  • http://wugspace.com/ Jason Williams

    Great post Todd and I couldn’t agree with you more.  We need more people thinking like  @twitter-75716502:disqus ’s aunt!  I just stumbled across this post, but I am now looking forward to reading more from you.

  • Todd Schnick

    yeah, the true hero of the post is rachel’s aunt! ;-)  

    glad you stopped by, and a real pleasure to meet you, and looking forward to getting to know you!

  • Todd Schnick

    yeah, the true hero of the post is rachel’s aunt! ;-)  

    glad you stopped by, and a real pleasure to meet you, and looking forward to getting to know you!

  • http://smbomindset.blogspot.com/ James Holloway

    better yet (or at least in addition to) when asked what we do, instead of answering with the expected career-oriented response, why not say things like:

    I do lots of things… I water ski, I play Halo 3, I chase my wife around our 3 bedroom house…. yada, yada, yada…

  • Todd Schnick

    oh. i dig that. next time, i promise, i will answer that question with “i chase my fiance around our three bedroom house…”

    and yes, you CAN choose to answer the question differently… key point to remember!

  • Baron

    I fall asleep with my puppy dog while my fiancée tells everyone on facebook about it…

  • Todd Schnick

    i have no idea to whom you are referring…

  • Marguerite Granat

    Todd, it does take courage to be an entrepreneur and define who you are in your own terms. Your.suggestions are refreshing. It’s much more meaningful to ask someone what do you move to do. Fantastic post. Bravo!

  • Todd Schnick

    thanks my friend. there is so much more to people than we ever attempt to learn and explore…

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